Joseph Donato

WHITE CHRISTMAS

Santa said fuck.
He told an officer
Don’t shove me, dumb fuck!
Two uniformed men led him
by the arms from his Toy Factory.
His beard slid down his chin
revealing curled lips and yellow teeth.
Santa’s rosy cheeks were a deep mauve,
bruised by the plastic reindeer he crashed into
trying to escape.
Shoppers stopped shopping
to peek from storefronts
as Santa kicked the officers’ shins.
Mall security trailed behind
and feigned importance.
Snowflake, a freckled elf at the photo counter,
told a parent that Santa
was caught selling crack to teenagers
behind the mall.
I didn’t see crack in the
toy catalogues.
Arms crossed over my chest, I huffed.
I waited in line for half an hour
only for Santa to be hauled away.


Joseph's YouTube video reading of "White Christmas":



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Joseph confesses: "Visiting Santa at the mall can be so drab; it’s the same thing every year. As a kid, I always wanted to hear Santa curse, because what’s as funny or exciting as the Jolly Old Elf himself saying fuck?"

JOSEPH DONATO (he/him) is a third-year creative writing student at the University of Toronto. He has work published in The Foundationalist, Rani Creative, The Scarborough Review, and SELF’s Emerging Voices. He is Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Block Party Magazine.