Hannah Mae Karau

PALE WALLS: A VILLANELLE FOR A VILLAINESS

Why am I here?
Four pale walls—trapping—are all I see.
I feel only fear.

I laugh! At my face’s flesh, with my fingers—I tear!
So they restrain my hands behind me.
Why am I here?

I cry. The food-men glare and sneer.
“We said you’d get what you deserve. See?”
I feel only fear.

I smile. Staring at the ceiling, my mind remains unclear.
Writhing in a reeking pool of my own vomit, I beg to be free.
Why am I here?

I scream, what have I done that was so severe?
Sitting alone, rocking, and loudly speaking to nobody,
I feel only fear.

I remember! Holding my struggling child in the waves of blue, under the pier.
Oh! How I will forever cherish the sound of his final, gasping plea.
Why am I here?
I feel only fear.


Hannah's YouTube video reading of "Pale Walls...":



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Hannah confesses: ""Pale Walls" began with a curiosity about events in my birth year—2001. The one that stuck with me the most was the drowning of 5 children by their mother Andrea Yates. This, in combination with a childhood fear of La Llarona, the Weeping Woman, inspired the poem."

HANNAH MAE KARAU is an undergraduate student at the University of Minnesota, where she works for the Creative Writing MFA program as an outreach assistant. She is majoring in English and aims to receive her own MFA in the future. Hannah is an avid reader and recently began a blog to review books from new authors. Besides journalistic work and her reviews, she has published “Nutrition Facts” in Gemini magazine.