Jerry House

CRIMINAL FOOLISHNESS

We won't get fooled again.
That's what you told me
Over and over and over
For ten seasons.
Ten long seasons.

For ten seasons
I watched you:
Bend the law,
Twist the law,
Break the law,
All the while defecating on acceptable police procedure,
And occasionally shooting suspects we knew
(and you knew)
Were guilty.
For ten seasons
I watched your female colleagues
In low-cut, cleavage-bearing tops --
The professional attire
Of your special universe.

For ten years
I saw it all:
Speed's dead.
Marisol's dead.
Delko got it in the head
(and got it on with Calleigh).
Ryan got it in the eye.
I saw it all.
Ten seasons' worth:
Your quiet fury.
Your pissing contests --
Testosterone v. testosterone --
Mano a mano --
With the scum of the earth
(or, at least, Miami).
For ten years I knew
The scum would always lose.

Delko left and Jesse came
And Jesse left and Delko came back.
Alexx left and Tara came,
But she was no good so
It's Tom's turn at bat.
Kyle showed up,
Then went to jail,
Then went into the service --
Yeah, he was stuck
In a storyline without a purpose.

So what was the crime?
My watching?
Or, you being there
For ten long years,
Stoic, unchanging,
Always staring downward?

And now,
After ten years,
You put your sunglasses on
And glide smoothly off-camera.
And now,
At last,
I know
You can't get fooled again.


Jerry reads "Criminal Foolishness":



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Jerry confesses: "Nothing on television is real anymore, including the news. Most of the shows we watch on a regular basis exist only in fantasy land. Cops are as mythical as western gunslingers, impervious to both damage and to the laws that bind the rest of us. Still we watch obsessively."

JERRY HOUSE, former construction laborer, reporter, editor, and marketing writer, lives in southern Maryland and blogs at Jerry's House of Everything. Greatest accomplishment: Married to the most beautiful woman in the world forty-three years and counting.