Tony Dawson

ATTEMPTED SUICIDE

“I’m going to commit suicide this afternoon,” he said.
“There’s enough in the bank for you to live on.”
“Hell, I don’t want you hanging around, especially dead,”
she retorted, “and I don’t fancy bumping into carrion!”
“I could shoot myself if you prefer. I’ll buy a gun.”
“You can’t do that. There’ll be blood all over the walls!”
she growled. “Why not line the room with plastic for a dry run?”
he suggested. “It will still look like bloody Niagara Falls!”
she shot back. “Well, I could try strychnine or cyanide,”
he muttered under his breath. “What if the dog licks your face?”
she screamed, aghast, “and died? You’re so selfish,” she cried.
“I can’t think of everything. Keep the dog outside, just in case.
How about if I slash my wrists while lying in the bath?”
“Apart from the fact that you lie no matter where you are,
it doesn’t cross your mind I’ll have to use it later, you psychopath!
Just go and drink yourself to death in the nearest bar!”
“Drink makes me ill. Why don’t you simply nag me to death?”
“Because that would be murder, not suicide, my dear.
Much as I’d like to see you draw your last breath,
I don’t want to end up inside and hear you cheer
from the great beyond. I’d rather enjoy your savings.”
“I think we’ve reached an impasse,” said he, “Let’s talk
about it another day.” “OK, now that you’ve stopped your ravings,
we’ll put the rope, poison and plastic away, and go for a walk.”



Tony reads "Attempted Suicide":



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Tony confesses: 'Attempted Suicide' is inspired by the coronavirus. It is a caricature of how a married couple bicker over trivia when cooped up during the COVID-19 crisis, leading to things quickly getting out of hand until they realize what’s happening and their relationship returns to more or less normal."

TONY DAWSON has lived in Seville since 1989 having had a career in higher education both in the UK and Spain. Some published poems in English: Lithuanian Cat’s Cradle in Critical Survey, Embers as a chapbook by Shoestring Press and Chance Encounter at the londongrip.co.uk online cultural magazine. He has also published several poems at EspacioUlises.com in Spanish.