Tonia Kalouria

SOME EASY MISDEMEANOR IDEAS FOR THE CRIMINALLY-CHALLENGED

(Just be sure you are in the designated states)

In Alabama, drive blindfolded: It’s illegal.
Perhaps they fear you’ll hit a lonely, lost, Bald Eagle.

In Arizona...Put your donkey in the bathtub,
and leave it long enough to fall asleep.
...I’m guessing that it also is illegal,
with cat, dog, bird, giraffe or even cows and sheep.

In California...Just Whistle-up that lost canary
before the dewy, legal, hour of seven.
Don’t wait to blow your legal lungs out later:-
say, at eight, nine, ten, or even at eleven.

In Delaware...Just try to sell illegal cat or dog hair.
It makes you wonder, too, if you…might hawk illegal hare there.

In Idaho...They’re quite gung ho the roads stay clean and neat.
So, tidy up real nice then…dump the rubbish on their street.

In Indiana...You’ll be in trouble when your steed speeds over ten.
It seems they think of M.P.H. as some folks think of Zen.

In Kansas...Make your tires do that loud, ear-piercing SCREEEEETCH!
You’ll get hauled off in no time for Disturbance of the Peace!

In Louisiana...It’s Harrassment to gift a “Pizza (Pie) Surprise.”
Who knows? The shock of such goodwill might cause someone’s demise!


Gerald So reads "Some Easy Misdemeanor Ideas..."


Tonia confesses: I was truly inspired after running across an article about weird laws still on the books in many states. My Satire gene became so restless that I just had to assuage it with a good dose of humor, snark, and sarcasm.

Tonia Kalouria is a former Spanish teacher and soap actress whose poems appear at “littleoldladycomedy.com,” “poetsforscience.org.” and “Literary Veganism,” among others. Anthologies include: A Glass of Wine With Edgar, Evermore, Quoth the Raven, Yonkers, Love, V4, Striving, Poems From the Lockdown, Purr & Yowl, Nothing Ever Happens in Fox Hollow, Cosy Romance, Tails From the Bedside, and Waywords: Habits, and Classical Poets Society, Vol. X.