Terry Dawley

MY EYES ARE BLUE, HIS ARE BROWN, BUT THEY'RE THE SAME

Domestic calls are the worst, especially violent ones.
Maybe because I’d witnessed so many in my own home
when I was too young to do anything but cry with my siblings
and hope our father didn’t pull the trigger
on the gun he held at our mother’s temple,
or glide the blade of a knife across her throat
while straddling her chest, pinning her to the floor.
When the fear in my gut would sour and the bitter bile
of helplessness would coat my tongue.
And even though the walls of the housing projects
we lived in were no more than glorified cardboard,
rarely did neighbors call the law.
And if they did another kind of fear would threaten
to shake the bones of my skeleton loose
as I gazed up at giant men in blue,
wearing badges and guns and grim faces.

And now here I am one of those giants in blue
with a badge on my chest and a gun on my hip
and I’m sure a grim look on my face
as I gaze down at a trembling little boy
with skin the color of whiskey
whose tears glaze shiny streaks down his cheeks
while a sliver of snot sneaks from one nostril.
Our eyes are locked on one another
and even though mine are blue and his are brown
they’re the same
because I know the helplessness and fear and pain.
I reach down and pick up the boy
and feel the quaking of his body
in my arms while my partner
gives me a What the fuck you doing? look
that I ignore and I whisper to the boy,
“It’ll be okay, it’ll be okay.
Someday it’ll be okay.” 


Gerald So's YouTube video reading of "My Eyes are Blue...":



Subscribe and turn on Notifications for Channel 52.


Terry confesses: " wrote this poem at a time when police are being demonized, assaulted and killed at an alarming rate across this nation. I wrote it to show that beneath the badge and uniform beats the heart of a human being that feels and cares for those they serve. I wrote this poem because I lived it."

TERRY DAWLEY grew up in the housing projects of Erie, Pennsylvania. He served as a police officer and retired after being shot numerous times in the line of duty. His work has been published in Pithead Chapel, Soft Cartel, Heart of Flesh literary journal and numerous others.